I'm so glad you could join me for another coffee date. It's been a while.
I hope you have been well.
I know this is only our second time getting together, but since we are becoming such good friends, the time just feels right to tell you a little story.
The story of my most embarrassing moment.
*Disclaimer: This story involves poop. If that's not your thing, click away. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Once upon a time, about three years ago, I was a student at a local junior college and dating the man who is now my husband. Life was good.
Earlier in the year, my parents began adding on a master bedroom and bathroom to the first story of their home. If you have ever done any sort of remodeling to your home, you know there are always a few hoops to jump through and codes to comply with if you want to pass inspection.
Well, due to the amount of square footage/number of bathrooms/some other stuff I don't remember, one of those hoops for my parents was doing some work to the septic system.
So, they called around, found a good company, and set a date for the work to be done.
That fateful day dawned and the septic crew arrived to being their project.
When the pipes were disconnected and the work began, Dad went through the house to tell us that the water was off until the septic company was able to finish their work.
"It shouldn't take too long," he said.
Being a college student I decided to take the only logical course of action and headed upstairs to my room to do homework.
I worked away diligently for several hours and nature began to take its course. When I got up to take a break I realized that I needed to utilize the facilities.
I don't think I need to elaborate here. You get the picture.
I figured enough time had passed since Dad had issued the warning, and all systems should be a go by now, so with good conscience I quickly made my way to the nearest bathroom.
As you've probably guessed, the pipes had not yet been reconnected and all systems were
After business had been taken care of, I exited aforementioned facility and heard shouting. Both from the crew outside and from my family downstairs.
Concerned, I rushed down the stairs to the living room where everyone was gathered around a window facing the bared septic system and several unhappy men. They were completely soaked and splattered with turd particles.
By now the shouting had turned into hysterical laughter.
All of a sudden I realized what I had done.
I was mortified. Petrified. Horrified.
My stomach sank and my cheeks flamed red.
I wanted to cry.
I willed the ground to swallow me up.
I felt absolutely certain that I could never
show my face in public again.
Well, I didn't end up becoming a hermit, but it did take me several days to recover from that awful experience.
My family is really the best, and they did their best to help my emotional state by telling everyone they knew about it.
I will never be able to live it down.
And there you have it. The most embarrassing moment in the history of my life. I hope you know that the knowledge of this event takes our friendship to a totally new level.