In October of this year my husband and I will celebrate our second anniversary. So much has changed in my life since I met that man. I have learned so much about myself, about him, and about marriage. I am not a marriage expert by any stretch of the imagination, we have our rough patches as well as our smooth ones, but I am learning. It sure helps when you marry up! ;-)
One thing I have been learning lately is how powerful my communication with my husband is. My attitude, the tone of my voice, words, body language -- everything -- can either build up or tear down my husband. It is my choice.
I wrestled with this until I discovered that it really isn't that complicated. When it comes down to it, there are just three things that my husband needs to hear.
This simple three letter word is really one of the most powerful ways you can encourage your husband, give him your support, and show him that you love him. However, though this word is small, it is one of the hardest to say. So often our priorities in marriage get out of whack and saying yes gets put on the back burner. We come up with so many excuses that seem legitimate in the moment, but in reality they are completely selfish.
Not now, I'm too tired. Do we HAVE to go to the hardware store AGAIN? You have two good hands, why can't you just put your dishes in the dishwasher yourself?
The only thing these kinds of excuses will accomplish is to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Marriage doesn't work very well when one or both parties are focused only on their own interests. So here's a challenge for you: the next time you feel like making an excuse, say yes instead. You (and your husband) will be amazed at the results.
We wives don't always understand the weight of responsibility a man has as the leader of his home. And even when we do feel grateful for all our husbands do, we don't always express that gratitude. Ladies, in case you haven't figured this out by now, our husbands can't read our minds. They need us to tell them that we appreciate them. Try writing him a note, make his favorite meal, or just give him a hug and tell him how thankful you are for all that he does for you and your family.
I love you.
This one may seem like a no brainer but hear me out. Once that newlywed spark fades and real life sets in, it is all too easy to simply make saying 'I love you' just another habit in your daily routine. All day long we are distracted by things like responsibilities, social media, and our own desires. While none of those are bad in and of themselves, they can be harmful to your relationship with your husband if he isn't your first priority. Making time each day to communicate to your husband that you love him is vital to the growth of your marriage. Look into his eyes and say it, kiss a little longer, reach over and squeeze his hand, plan a surprise date night, or even just put his laundry away for him. Feel free to get creative!